Da Night Before Orksmas

It wuz da night before Orksmas,when all thru da hut,Nuffin' wuz stirring,'cept for some grot.

Da holstas wuz hung byda smoke-hole way up,In hopes dat Yellowsquig would finally show up.

Da gretchin wuz curled-up,all crammed in da hall,While dreams of sugar-squigstromped in dere skullz.

And da boss in 'eavy armor,and me in my flak,Had just settled our brainzan jumped in our sacks.

When out by da dropsdere wuz such a big fuss,I jumped from my rackta shoot wot it wuz.

Over to da gunportI stumbled wiff a crunch,Tore open da shutters and threw up my lunch.

Da spotlights wuz shining wif a eye-hurtin' glow,Lit up bright as dayda drops below.

When wot did my wandering eyeball should shows,but a 'uge battlewagonand eight right hard boyz.

Wiff a gnarled old kaptin,and a toof box so big,I knew right offdat it must be Yellowsquig.

Faster than Speed Freeks,his flash gitz dey came,An he growled an shoutedan called out dere names

Now, Chinwart! Now, Chopgob!Now, Bogbreff and Bigzit!On, Stumpy! On, Stinkfoot!On, Lardbutt and dat other git!

To da top of da pillbox!To da top of da wall!Now dakka-dakka dakka-dakkadakka-dakka all!

Like a war boar dathas been shot in da gut,When dey sees sumpin move,dey charge and dey butt.

So right for da hut dagitz stomped dere shoes,With a wagon full of teef,and Kaptin Yellowsquig, too.

An den in a bit,I heard on the walls,Da pounding and pinginguv lotsa bolta shells.

As I pulled in my skulland took my bolta in hand,Down thru da roofYellowsquig came wiff his band.

He wuz fitted wiff bioniks from'is skull to 'is foots,An his gear wuz all grimeywiff wot wuz left of da grots.

A bag uv loot he hadtossed over 'is back,And he looked like a mekboywiff 'is favorite tool pack.

'Is eyes- how dey glared!'Is teef how enormous!'Is hide wuz like leather,'Is nose like a fungus!

'Is great gaping gob wuzgivin' out a smelly blow, And da hair-squig on 'is chinwuz yellow like da snow.

Da hat on 'is headwuz fancy an' blue,Wiff a big Jolly Orkstuck on it wiff glue.

He had a ugly mugan' a cast iron spleen,Dat growled when he laffed,like a face-eater wotz mean.

He wuz nasty an' vicious,a right hard old git,An' he laffed when he saw uz,an spit in 'is mitt.

A squint of 'is eye an'a kick from 'is boot,Dat let me knowzhe wuz after our loot.

They didn't say much,but got stuck right in,An' took our jools an' our teef,then gave da boyz a thrashin'.

An' putting 'is fingerway up inside 'is snoot,An' givin a belch,gave da door his boot.

He tromped to 'is wagon,an' to 'is boyz gave a yell,An' away dey all went,like sum bats out of hell.

But I 'eard him bellow,as he drove outta sight...

"Shooty Orksmas ter all,an ter all a good fight!"

Visit To GW Melbourne

On a recent trip to Melbourne I stopped by GW Melbourne while looking through the shops. This is a major achievement in it's self as it's buried in the basement of a large shopping mall down an alleyway with no sign!. Hard to imagine a GW store without one of their trademark illuminated logos.

Still the guy in the store, Alex (hope I got his name right) was really helpful. Not only that they had several Golden Daemon winning minis in the display case.

The converted Skullhamma above was part of his ork army and very cool. My photo through the display case doesn't do it justice. It was converted from a Baneblade and immense. Basically if you cross a landing craft with a dirty great gun this is what you get.

The rest of his army had the similar colour scheme Iyandian Sunset and Boltgun Metal with washes applied over the bare metal areas. This was simple but very striking and effective. Pity the Dethkoptas photos didn't turn out. A similar treatment to his Orks skin.

He was developing techniques basically using just the foundation paints then washes and standard colours for highlights and it worked really well. He was applying the process to some Chaos Knights and Marauder Horsemen and and although simple it looked really well. Just depends if you want your minis to have a slightly darker look.

Nice to talk to a staff member who was willing to experiment with things and share his ideas.

Chaos Warriors First Outings

Well after my first two battles with my new Chaos Warriors they seemed to be pretty cowardly. Maybe they've been hanging around my pink Emperor's Children Marines. No largely it was down to my rustiness with the rules, getting mixed up with 40k and lastly lousy dice rolls.

I'm playing in part of a local escalating points tournament. First round is 750pt, then 1500pts and finally 2250pts. Ask anyone and they'll tell you fielding a competitive Chaos Warrior List under 1k pts is almost impossible let alone 750pts.

Needless to say I was massacred twice by Bretonians and then Dwarves.

Still it's good practice and a steep learning curve and that's why I entered the tourney. Before long my brave men of the North will cause the enemy to tremble in fear it's only a matter of time. Dice willing!

Return To The Game Of Pixies And Elves

After two year hiatus I've decided to start a Fantasy army. Things have changed a bit too since my Ogres thundered across the battlefield. For a start they were sold to someone down the line and are no more. Secondly there's a new version of the main rules since I last played.

So this time I've been lured by the immortal souls and dark gods of tthe Chaos Warriors. Mainly because I like the cool new minis and secondly I originally thought I could make use of the 20 Bloodletters I have that are used in my 40k Chaos Marine army as lesser daemons. Well the models are cool but thanks to GW marketing the daemons can't be used anymore unlike the old Hordes of Chaos rules.

Still cool models though and I'll post some progress pictures soon.